I attended a funeral yesterday. I know no one likes to attend them they are full of depression and sadness. You attend them to help the process of grieving for family and close friends. The eulogies make me cry. The tears and suffering of loved ones gets to me the most. Knowing that there's nothing you can do to relieve their pain.
I start to think of my own situation. My brain cancer is advanced and statistics say I should have around 5 years of life expectancy, I am 2 years into this fight and to that, I say fuck you cancer. You can't take me that easily.
You become close to other cancer patients and thier families that you meet in waiting rooms. I get discouraged when I hear that someone I've met has lost their battle or has given up hope.
Fighting cancer isn't easy you know that every morning you wake-up. From the radiation to the chemotherapy and the handfuls of pills, that make you sick and tired. Some days are great and you feel good. Then you have weeks that you struggle to find the strength to climb out of bed. You have to find your reasons to get up and fight my wife, son, and family are mine. The ones that you don't want others to consoling in some dreary funeral parlor.
When my time has come I don't want to be placed in a casket for everyone to look in on and cry. I want a party, with all of my family and friends. This party will be held in a happy place so that you all can focus on the fun we had and good times we shared. Maybe a bar is the right place. So we can all share one more toast to life. No sadness just happiness please.
